Here's a photo from when Sheyanne was in town and we drove up to visit Erika and play around in Chicago for the night. This one's going on the mantel: Here's my brother David and I--he's a chef, currently the sous chef at a heavy metal burger restaurant and bar in Chicago called Kuma's Corner. We had so much fun having AMAZING dinner and hanging out there, and I even got to help in the kitchen (or at least look like I did)! :)

Today, on a personal level, things are finally starting to make sense. I now am beginning to understand why the universe has brought us to Iowa City...I mean, obviously we're here because of (and it's still so incredible that Alex got into) the Writers' Workshop--the best in the world--but now I know why I'm here, as well. Yesterday was a REALLY good day for both Alex and myself...

I've been in rehearsals now for about a week for this play "Placing Out," and I have to say it feels really good to be working toward something again, especially toward a common goal with talented actors and a great director, and working from a well-written, powerfully moving script. (And really, working on anything at all is a welcome change after wasting so much time and energy begging for scraps in Los Angeles.)

Last night were auditions for the next round of plays that the University is going to be putting up, now through the end of the Spring semester. After some nervous hesitation, I signed up to audition, but I was SO SCARED about it for so many reasons--the biggest reason being that I'd never auditioned in front of so many people before, and it was a large group of directors, writers, acting teachers, and God knows who else, all whom I'd never met before. But scariest of all, I was doing a long, emotional monologue--one that I'd completely screwed up once before in front of an acting class in LA and been inconsolably embarrassed by.

After putting it down for almost a year and trying to block it out of my consciousness completely, I'd decided to give the thing another shot and had been working on the monologue again for several days, trying to drill it into my head so I wouldn't screw it up again. I was so, SO nervous going in... Before I walked into the audition room, I said a little prayer and asked God to, "Please, if you're out there, please help me to let go and let all the preparation I've done and all my hard work take over and help get me thru this..." I couldn't breathe.

When I was introduced and walked into the room, I was shaking, sweating, and desperately trying to keep it together. But as soon as I had the floor and all eyes were on me, suddenly I had this amazing moment of clarity and it just all came rushing back to me... I remembered all the words! I spoke slowly, clearly, loudly. I was in touch with the piece emotionally but was able to hold back and not start bawling uncontrollably. I was funny to break the tension. I was...good!

When I left the room, I was completely fucking thrilled (please pardon my language, but I really was). I pumped my fists in the air and growled to myself (in retrospect, I hope nobody saw because I'm pretty positive I must've looked like a crazy person). I'd done it. I came, I saw, I KICKED THAT MONOLOGUE'S ASS once and for all!

This morning, I checked the callback boards. I've been called back for ALL FIVE plays for next semester, including the one that'll be put up on the Mainstage. (Wish me luck!)

I still can't really believe it, but for sure, things are starting to make sense...